Tag: truth

Is mom brain real?

Family Life

Is mom brain real?

 

I tend to forget things, not the big things but things. Something as simple as cooking food in a crockpot for 2 hours without it being turned on. Where I left my keys, my phone, my purse, my car, my sanity? Always asking myself questions; Did I shampoo my hair? What was I supposed to do today? What even is today? Why is my phone in the refrigerator? Why am I in this room? Where did all these kids come from? HA, on that last one but really they do keep multiplying.

Have you ever heard someone refer to their “mom-brain” after they have forgotten something? You keep checking with someone after you sent something and are cursing the post office on the late arrival until you look up and its still in your visor…..waiting to be mailed. Did you declare “mom-brain”? When you are rushing around trying to get everyone ready to avoid being late for yet another appointment, you get everyone loaded into the minivan and you hear “I don’t have shoes, I forgot to brush my teeth, I don’t have pants on” These were all obviously things on your to do list so is “mom-brain” to blame?

I know some pretty awesome mothers, they really are some special women. They each care for their family, they love their kids wholeheartedly and work tirelessly day and night. So why is it they forget their kid’s birthday? I do not know how many times I have tried to explain that I do love my kids after they tell me to try again on the date. I tend to get the boys mixed up, they are only 1 year apart cut me some slack. Mothers are smart, multitasking, productive people so why do we accidentally put hand soap on our toothbrush instead of toothpaste? Mom-brain, thats why.

mommy-brain. Noun.  A state in which a new mother is forgetful, absentminded, or easily distracted.

Did you know your brain grows after childbirth?  According to LiveScience “it remains unclear exactly why the brain grows, the researchers said it might be that an increase in hormones— including estrogen, oxytocin and prolactin — play a role.” These changes have an impact on a mother’s brain. It is real, guys. Science even says so.

Sleep deprivation is another huge player in our forgetfulness. It is pretty hard to remember the easiest of tasks when you are running on very little sleep and that little amount you managed to get was interrupted. Sleep is an important part of your health and wellbeing, as mothers we are lacking.

Stress also contributes to our being absentminded. You know the stress of a major life change, caring for and keeping a small little human alive? If you have older children add their care, the household, work, your husband and all the daily decisions you have to make. This can be overwhelming.

Multitasking is a factor in our distractions. As good as women are at multitasking, like all things it has it’s perks as well as downfalls. Studies show if you are arranging a playdate with a friend while you are making lunch you are more likely to forget the arrival time or place. Focusing on more than one thing at once makes it hard for our brain to store important information.

The good news is we can help fight the mommy-brain. If we just get more sleep, stop stressing and do one thing at a time. HA! Is there an instant button I can push to make this happen?

We do not have much control over the sleep our baby allows us to get during the middle of the night but there are a few things we can do to help catch up on some zzz’s. Stay off your phone before bed. Although it is nice to read 100 posts about the weather you can use that time to get a coveted 30 minutes more of sleep. I know it is easier said than done but if you are pushed to your max exhausted, sleep when the baby sleeps. Your kids need you refreshed more than they need an empty sink clear of any dishes.

As far as stress goes, this is a hard one. As mother’s we will always worry about the well being of our family. But I am here to tell you, you are doing a great job. Your child will thrive with the love you show him and he will not be affected by the pile of laundry that needs to be done. You are enough. So relax and enjoy that time together.

I do not think we can stop with doing 5 things at once. I am constantly doing and saying multiple things at all times of the day but we can help with the distractions. Write things down…..in the same place so you don’t forget where you left that sticky note. Keep your appointments, thoughts, and important events all in one easy to find place.

So whether you call it mom-brain, momnesia or simply your brain going to mush just remember you are not alone. Others out there have looked hours for their keys only to find them hanging on their light switch. You have not been the only one to get into the wrong van, or try to unlock the wrong front door.

Mommy moment and photo submitted by Jacqui

Our job as mothers is so very important, so always find joy in journey……the journey in the parking lot looking for your car.

Thank you to all the mommas who contributed with their best “mom-brain” moments.  Do you have a funny “mom-brain” moment? Drop a comment with your favorite.

7 things NOT to say to a mother

Family Life

7 things NOT to say to a mother

 

There are some things better left unsaid. You know the saying your momma taught you growing up, “If you ain’t got anything nice to say don’t say nothin’ at all” There are so many times where you should apply this to your life. Some things just shouldn’t be said to a mother, I mean ever. So stop, think and take that advice from that sweet  momma of yours. They always know best.

    1. “My kids would never do that”
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      No, just no. If you don’t say it with your mouth, we can see you spewing that judgement with your eyes. Your child may not have done the exact thing as mine but I am sure they can suck too! I do not need it. Parenting is hard enough without you adding doubts to the job I am doing.

    2. “When I have kids…….they will never” HAHAHAHA, OK!  My imaginary kids would probably have never smeared their poop on the wall and floors, then ran it over with a truck either. My kids were perfectly behaved children too……until they were actually birthed into existence.
    3. “Well when my dog was having that issue we just…….”
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      Great! Thanks for the advice. Can you get me the number to the veterinarian for them to treat my child’s aliments? The only similarities I can see to the dog and my child are both are not potty trained, they both drool a lot, both enjoy a good chase and they like to tear up my stuff. Ok, fine there are a few similar things but not how to treat their seizures medically, I will go to the pediatrician for that.

    4. “Aw, you are a SAHM? That is so great but when do you get back to work?” 
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      Ummmmm, excuse me? Does the title I just gave you not give you enough satisfaction, should I be doing something else? Does constantly meeting the needs of my family, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, cleaning up mess after mess not constitute work? No?  That’s fine, I am completely fulfilled with my life and the work I do. I did not put off or forget the goals and dreams I made for myself, this right here has always been my goal.

    5. “Aw, you are a working mom? That’s so awesome you get a break from your kids”
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      Again, ummmmmm, excuse me? “You mean those 8 hours spent answering to other people after I have already gotten up three hours before my “break” starts, just so I can attempt to make myself presentable to the general public, pack the car, drag two sleepy kids out of bed before they are ready and get them dressed, haul them across town to childcare (where 70% of my paycheck goes), and then milk myself in a closet 3 times a day? Yeah, it’s pretty great…” actual response from a working mom who is tired of hearing this.

    6. “Soooo, How many kids ARE you going to have?” 
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      Nun-Yo-Business guy in the Walmart checkout line. Why do you even need to know this. You are a complete stranger, I really don’t feel the need to discuss our family planning with you right now, or ever. Who else gets the oddest questions asked in Walmart?

    7. “There are no public restrooms here”
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       What?? NO?? This response induces more fear in me than I can describe. I never beg as hard as I do when I am asking if my 2 year old can just use the bathroom so he doesn’t pee all over the shelving in this store. Let’s start a petition to have all bathrooms open to potty training children! Who is with me?

Now you know. Just keep it in.

If you have a few things you have been wanting to let your family know,  Check out 9 Things I Need My Family to Know for a little inspiration.