Tag: life

What my mother never told me

Family Life motherhood

What my mother never told me

There are things I wish my mother would have told me about MOTHERHOOD.

My mom was super open with me about parenting. She told me of the funny stories about my brother and I being less than perfect children. She told me of the joys, struggles and gratification of being a mother. She also gave me the oh so fun warning of “you will pay for your raising” What does that even mean anyway?

There are still somethings my mother never told me. So I figure if mine never told me, yours might not have either.  So here is goes.

No matter what you do, you will always be wrong. Discipline your kid too much? You are being to harsh on them. Not discipline them enough? You are raising little hellions. Laughing when your kid hits their brother in the face with a ball? You are raising a little monster. Guys, there are just some things I do not care about. You know the saying pick your battles? Yeah, we do that. We prioritize what we feel is a kid being 2 years old against what we feel will lead to them to being a nuisance to society.

There will be so much stuff. Stuff, everywhere.  From tiny socks to big piles of toys they are everywhere filling every crack of your house. Overflowing from drawers, underneath your bed, stuffed in your shoe. If there is space. You will fill it.

They need to eat. Ok, so I knew this one but I didn’t quite know to what extent. They need to eat ALOT. So many trips to the kitchen for fruit, yogurt, cheese, crackers, steak…..whatever they can get their tiny little hands on. They will eat it, all of it. Except dinner they wouldn’t dare eat that ludicrous meal.

They always need to use the bathroom at the worst possible time. Why is it they need to poop as soon as you get on the interstate? Why does their sudden urge to pee happen when you are no where near a bathroom?  No seriously I am asking, do you know?

You will spend the majority of your time cleaning. There is always a mess to clean, laundry to do, dishes to wash. They are even kind enough to make a new mess right after you have cleaned up the last mess. Since you are always cleaning they assume it is your passion and want to provide you with more of what you love.

If there is a button, they will push it. Really, any and all buttons will be pushed. Elevator buttons, handicap door buttons, emergency exits at Walmart, possibly the life support button if there is such thing. They see it, they will push it.

You will find stickers stuck to everything. You will discover stickers on the wall, the floor, the fridge, your clothes, the van windows, the bottom of your shoes. I mean everywhere. I don’t even know where they are getting all these things.

You say phrases you never thought would come out of your mouth. Examples include. “Stop peeing on your brother” “Who pooped in the closet?” “Please do not take your pants off in the store”

You will have an overwhelming amount of love. You will question daily how you can love these little humans so much. Their sweet little smiles can light up your whole day. The hilarious things they say can make you laugh so deep you will wonder if you have ever experienced so much joy before. No one can prepare you for the first time you hold your baby. The instant love that rushes over you is unreal. This overwhelming love is like non other.

You wouldn’t change a single second. I wouldn’t trade all the piles of laundry and messes for any other life. This is what I love, this is what I live for. This is what makes my heart happy.

As you wonder how you did life before the judgment, opinions, piles, grocery overload, bathroom trips, messes, apologies for making the alarm sound, and everything else that comes with motherhood. Remember you are doing the hardest most rewarding job there is.  So enjoy this messy, fun and joyous adventure of motherhood you are on.

7 things NOT to say to a mother

Family Life

7 things NOT to say to a mother

 

There are some things better left unsaid. You know the saying your momma taught you growing up, “If you ain’t got anything nice to say don’t say nothin’ at all” There are so many times where you should apply this to your life. Some things just shouldn’t be said to a mother, I mean ever. So stop, think and take that advice from that sweet  momma of yours. They always know best.

    1. “My kids would never do that”
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      No, just no. If you don’t say it with your mouth, we can see you spewing that judgement with your eyes. Your child may not have done the exact thing as mine but I am sure they can suck too! I do not need it. Parenting is hard enough without you adding doubts to the job I am doing.

    2. “When I have kids…….they will never” HAHAHAHA, OK!  My imaginary kids would probably have never smeared their poop on the wall and floors, then ran it over with a truck either. My kids were perfectly behaved children too……until they were actually birthed into existence.
    3. “Well when my dog was having that issue we just…….”
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      Great! Thanks for the advice. Can you get me the number to the veterinarian for them to treat my child’s aliments? The only similarities I can see to the dog and my child are both are not potty trained, they both drool a lot, both enjoy a good chase and they like to tear up my stuff. Ok, fine there are a few similar things but not how to treat their seizures medically, I will go to the pediatrician for that.

    4. “Aw, you are a SAHM? That is so great but when do you get back to work?” 
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      Ummmmm, excuse me? Does the title I just gave you not give you enough satisfaction, should I be doing something else? Does constantly meeting the needs of my family, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, cleaning up mess after mess not constitute work? No?  That’s fine, I am completely fulfilled with my life and the work I do. I did not put off or forget the goals and dreams I made for myself, this right here has always been my goal.

    5. “Aw, you are a working mom? That’s so awesome you get a break from your kids”
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      Again, ummmmmm, excuse me? “You mean those 8 hours spent answering to other people after I have already gotten up three hours before my “break” starts, just so I can attempt to make myself presentable to the general public, pack the car, drag two sleepy kids out of bed before they are ready and get them dressed, haul them across town to childcare (where 70% of my paycheck goes), and then milk myself in a closet 3 times a day? Yeah, it’s pretty great…” actual response from a working mom who is tired of hearing this.

    6. “Soooo, How many kids ARE you going to have?” 
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      Nun-Yo-Business guy in the Walmart checkout line. Why do you even need to know this. You are a complete stranger, I really don’t feel the need to discuss our family planning with you right now, or ever. Who else gets the oddest questions asked in Walmart?

    7. “There are no public restrooms here”
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       What?? NO?? This response induces more fear in me than I can describe. I never beg as hard as I do when I am asking if my 2 year old can just use the bathroom so he doesn’t pee all over the shelving in this store. Let’s start a petition to have all bathrooms open to potty training children! Who is with me?

Now you know. Just keep it in.

If you have a few things you have been wanting to let your family know,  Check out 9 Things I Need My Family to Know for a little inspiration.

New Year-New You

Life

New Year-New You

New year, new you? New year, same you? New year, improved you?

If you didn’t hear, it is now a new year for new beginnings. The thought of a fresh start is so appealing. The idea of becoming better is right there at your fingertips. A new you finally within reach.

Why do we feel the pressure to evaluate everything on December 31? This isn’t the only day of the year when I acknowledge my shortcomings in my life. This isn’t the only day I reevaluate what the future holds. There are days etched into my mind that have forever changed me and detoured my plans, my goals and my life. Everyone has something that will always trigger self reflection, why not use that as your motivation. I can think of many things to change, improve, and reflect on any given day of the year. For some reason we are forced to swallow everything in one evening, make a resolution before the magical clock strikes midnight and makes all our dreams come true for 2017.

I have a little secret to share. The only real change that comes automatically  is the difficulty of remembering to write the correct year on your check. Checks? People still use those right? I truly believe in the importance of improving yourself, making goals and letting go of the bad in your life but shouldn’t we be doing this everyday? Should the change in a calendar year define who you are and who you will become this year? Or is it you that holds the power for change?

The idea of a fresh start is inspiring but its the decision you made for that change that is important. You are the one who has to wake up every morning and fight those habits, get to the gym, gently calm your anger, 2017 isn’t going to do it for you. It’s hard. I think this is why when Valentines Day rolls around and the new of the year has worn off,  so many people have forgotten the promises they made to themselves. The work was harder and we didn’t see instant results.  The change of the calendar isn’t as magical as we thought. I know this sounds disappointing, huh? But this actually is great news, guys!

“2017 isn’t going to do it for you”

The good thing about realizing this is knowing you are the one who will accomplish your list for 2017. You are the one who made an important decision in your life. If things are not working out exactly as you had planned make the adjustments, you have not failed. You do not have to wait for 2018 to try again, you can reset any day of the year.  Remember, the magic is in your choice, not the new year. You can wake up everyday, hit your daily goals and before you know it a week turns in a month and then you will be celebrating the end of 2017 and welcoming 2018 with open arms. Don’t give up.

Goals are always easier broken down into small bites, don’t let the pressure of instant results fool you. I have proclaimed a word of the year for myself “balance” I have already been making a point to focus more on my good than the bad but if I am being honest, this has highlighted the negative beliefs I have of myself. So with that I have decided each day I will tell myself two positive things and focus on one thing I would like to improve, example my patience with my kids or my procrastination. I will begin to balance my thoughts so I am able to improve my life without feeling overwhelmed. Think of your goals for the year. What will your word be?

“be the SAME you working daily on yourself to become an IMPROVED you”

As we start this new year together I encourage you to be the SAME you working daily on yourself to become an IMPROVED you.