Tag: family

Parenting Meme RoundUp

Family Life motherhood

Parenting Meme RoundUp

I love memes, some of them are so laugh out loud funny. Especially the ones about parenting. I am always sending them to friends and family. So I am going to share a few of my recent favorites with you. I hope you find some humor in these so my daughter won’t feel bad for me. She recently told me it makes her feel bad when I tell a joke and I am the only one who laughs……seriously, I do not know what my family’s problem is. Someone tell them I am funny.

Listening Habits

Patience

 

 

Cleaning

 

 

 

Just a mom

 

 

 

 

Hope you enjoyed this round up!  Send me your favorite meme to kayla@simplyburch.com and see if it will be featured on the next round up. Hit me with your best shot!

What my mother never told me

Family Life motherhood

What my mother never told me

There are things I wish my mother would have told me about MOTHERHOOD.

My mom was super open with me about parenting. She told me of the funny stories about my brother and I being less than perfect children. She told me of the joys, struggles and gratification of being a mother. She also gave me the oh so fun warning of “you will pay for your raising” What does that even mean anyway?

There are still somethings my mother never told me. So I figure if mine never told me, yours might not have either.  So here is goes.

No matter what you do, you will always be wrong. Discipline your kid too much? You are being to harsh on them. Not discipline them enough? You are raising little hellions. Laughing when your kid hits their brother in the face with a ball? You are raising a little monster. Guys, there are just some things I do not care about. You know the saying pick your battles? Yeah, we do that. We prioritize what we feel is a kid being 2 years old against what we feel will lead to them to being a nuisance to society.

There will be so much stuff. Stuff, everywhere.  From tiny socks to big piles of toys they are everywhere filling every crack of your house. Overflowing from drawers, underneath your bed, stuffed in your shoe. If there is space. You will fill it.

They need to eat. Ok, so I knew this one but I didn’t quite know to what extent. They need to eat ALOT. So many trips to the kitchen for fruit, yogurt, cheese, crackers, steak…..whatever they can get their tiny little hands on. They will eat it, all of it. Except dinner they wouldn’t dare eat that ludicrous meal.

They always need to use the bathroom at the worst possible time. Why is it they need to poop as soon as you get on the interstate? Why does their sudden urge to pee happen when you are no where near a bathroom?  No seriously I am asking, do you know?

You will spend the majority of your time cleaning. There is always a mess to clean, laundry to do, dishes to wash. They are even kind enough to make a new mess right after you have cleaned up the last mess. Since you are always cleaning they assume it is your passion and want to provide you with more of what you love.

If there is a button, they will push it. Really, any and all buttons will be pushed. Elevator buttons, handicap door buttons, emergency exits at Walmart, possibly the life support button if there is such thing. They see it, they will push it.

You will find stickers stuck to everything. You will discover stickers on the wall, the floor, the fridge, your clothes, the van windows, the bottom of your shoes. I mean everywhere. I don’t even know where they are getting all these things.

You say phrases you never thought would come out of your mouth. Examples include. “Stop peeing on your brother” “Who pooped in the closet?” “Please do not take your pants off in the store”

You will have an overwhelming amount of love. You will question daily how you can love these little humans so much. Their sweet little smiles can light up your whole day. The hilarious things they say can make you laugh so deep you will wonder if you have ever experienced so much joy before. No one can prepare you for the first time you hold your baby. The instant love that rushes over you is unreal. This overwhelming love is like non other.

You wouldn’t change a single second. I wouldn’t trade all the piles of laundry and messes for any other life. This is what I love, this is what I live for. This is what makes my heart happy.

As you wonder how you did life before the judgment, opinions, piles, grocery overload, bathroom trips, messes, apologies for making the alarm sound, and everything else that comes with motherhood. Remember you are doing the hardest most rewarding job there is.  So enjoy this messy, fun and joyous adventure of motherhood you are on.

7 things NOT to say to a mother

Family Life

7 things NOT to say to a mother

 

There are some things better left unsaid. You know the saying your momma taught you growing up, “If you ain’t got anything nice to say don’t say nothin’ at all” There are so many times where you should apply this to your life. Some things just shouldn’t be said to a mother, I mean ever. So stop, think and take that advice from that sweet  momma of yours. They always know best.

    1. “My kids would never do that”
      giphy.com     

      No, just no. If you don’t say it with your mouth, we can see you spewing that judgement with your eyes. Your child may not have done the exact thing as mine but I am sure they can suck too! I do not need it. Parenting is hard enough without you adding doubts to the job I am doing.

    2. “When I have kids…….they will never” HAHAHAHA, OK!  My imaginary kids would probably have never smeared their poop on the wall and floors, then ran it over with a truck either. My kids were perfectly behaved children too……until they were actually birthed into existence.
    3. “Well when my dog was having that issue we just…….”
      giphy.com

      Great! Thanks for the advice. Can you get me the number to the veterinarian for them to treat my child’s aliments? The only similarities I can see to the dog and my child are both are not potty trained, they both drool a lot, both enjoy a good chase and they like to tear up my stuff. Ok, fine there are a few similar things but not how to treat their seizures medically, I will go to the pediatrician for that.

    4. “Aw, you are a SAHM? That is so great but when do you get back to work?” 
      giphy.com

      Ummmmm, excuse me? Does the title I just gave you not give you enough satisfaction, should I be doing something else? Does constantly meeting the needs of my family, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, cleaning up mess after mess not constitute work? No?  That’s fine, I am completely fulfilled with my life and the work I do. I did not put off or forget the goals and dreams I made for myself, this right here has always been my goal.

    5. “Aw, you are a working mom? That’s so awesome you get a break from your kids”
      giphy.com

      Again, ummmmmm, excuse me? “You mean those 8 hours spent answering to other people after I have already gotten up three hours before my “break” starts, just so I can attempt to make myself presentable to the general public, pack the car, drag two sleepy kids out of bed before they are ready and get them dressed, haul them across town to childcare (where 70% of my paycheck goes), and then milk myself in a closet 3 times a day? Yeah, it’s pretty great…” actual response from a working mom who is tired of hearing this.

    6. “Soooo, How many kids ARE you going to have?” 
      {wifflegif.com}

      Nun-Yo-Business guy in the Walmart checkout line. Why do you even need to know this. You are a complete stranger, I really don’t feel the need to discuss our family planning with you right now, or ever. Who else gets the oddest questions asked in Walmart?

    7. “There are no public restrooms here”
      giphy.com

       What?? NO?? This response induces more fear in me than I can describe. I never beg as hard as I do when I am asking if my 2 year old can just use the bathroom so he doesn’t pee all over the shelving in this store. Let’s start a petition to have all bathrooms open to potty training children! Who is with me?

Now you know. Just keep it in.

If you have a few things you have been wanting to let your family know,  Check out 9 Things I Need My Family to Know for a little inspiration.

9 Things I need my family to know

Family Life

9 Things I need my family to know

I love taking care of my family. I believe being a wife and mother is my true calling. However, if something ever happened to me there are some very important things I desperately need my family to know. I feel like this is some of the most vital information I could pass on.

  1. How to change the toilet paper roll. When one roll is completely finished, when there is just no more paper on the roll you must throw the old one away and insert a new one onto the rod. It’s truly the only way to complete the circle of good hygiene.
  2. Where your shoes are. Hint: they are not in the place they are supposed to be…..don’t even look there, you won’t find them in the proper place. Do however look under beds, inside your dressers and atop the ceiling fan. Also you will never find a pair of shoes in the same room, so always check the whole house or the van…….where I told you not to leave them.
  3. What’s for dinner? This one is hard because sometimes I don’t always know, especially not when I am tucking you into bed or pouring your bowl of cereal. I do know there will be dinner, so stop asking.
  4. I want you to have confidence in yourself. To know you are truly capable of picking up the absolute disaster of a mess you just made all by yourself. You can do this, I believe in you.
  5. To know you have a special radar power. This power will ping of any missing object helping you to find it’s location. I use it often, usually to find your shoes. Well, this is not really for you boys, you somehow don’t develop this but don’t worry your wife will have it! You are welcome Keith for my supernatural finding ability.
  6. They have recently came out with a nifty invention called the clothes hamper. With this you are able to store your dirty clothes until you wash them. What??? This means you no longer have to leave them all over the house! Gamechanger.
  7. The magic table. I know you have all seen this video, if not watch it.  It doesn’t vanish on it’s own guys…..it’s me……I do it! Please locate the nearest trashcan.
  8. The bathroom is not the perfect location to have bonding time. Please in your adult lives do not barge into bathrooms when people are doing their business. It is very important to wait to ask any important questions such as, “What are you doing?” or give a simple “hello” until after they have exited the bathroom.
  9. I love you with my whole heart. I love each of you very very very much, but also want you to pick ups after yourselves.

This is my list, not an all inclusive lists there are more I am sure. These may not even be the top 9 but they are definitely must know things. I actually wouldn’t mind them reading right now.