Life marriage

Showing Your Husband Respect

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. Oops, how could I forget? I think the real question here is how is it already mid-February? Did you forget too? Don’t fret if you don’t have time to run out to the store here is something you can do starting today.

Show him RESPECT.

Show him how much you respect him. Respect is a universal love language for men. Just like women love to hear how they are loved, a man yearns to hear how he is respected. How often do you think you show your husband how much you respect him, not just how much you love him but respect him? I  didn’t even realize the ways I was showing disrespect to my husband until I read the book Love & Respect. It was a game changer in our relationship. This book comes highly recommended and after reading I know why.

“In your marriage, be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11).”
― Emerson EggerichsLove & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

The Crazy Cycle first illustrates that “Without love, she reacts without respect and without respect, he reacts without love”.

“Wives are made to love, want to love, and expect love. Husbands are made to be respected, want respect, and expect respect” “When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband”. “Often, we focus on our own needs and simply overlook the needs of the other person”.

The Energizing Cycle He explains the Energizing cycle by using two acronyms to explain to men and women how to provide what their partner needs. To the men, he uses the acronym of C-O-U-P-L-E to remind them what their wives need. This is how you spell love to your wife:

  • Closeness—She wants you to be close.
  • Openness—She wants you to open up to her.
  • Understanding—Don’t try to fix her; just listen.
  • Peacemaking—She wants you to say, “I’m sorry.”
  • Loyalty—She needs to know you’re committed.
  • Esteem—She wants you to honor and cherish her.

To the women, he uses the acronym of C-H-A-I-R-S to remind them what their husbands needs. This is how you spell respect to your husband:

    • Conquest—Appreciate his desire to work and achieve.
    • Hierarchy—Appreciate his desire to protect and provide.
    • Authority—Appreciate his desire to serve and to lead.
    • Insight—Appreciate his desire to analyze and counsel.
    • Relationship—Appreciate his desire for shoulder-to-shoulder friendship.
    • Sexuality—Appreciate his desire for sexual intimacy.

“One of the most popular illustrations we use in Love and Respect Conferences compares women and men to pink and blue. The audience responds immediately when I talk about how she sees through pink sunglasses and hears with pink hearing aids, while he sees through blue sunglasses and hears with blue hearing aids. In other words, women and men are very different. Yet, when blue blends with pink, it becomes purple, God’s color—the color of royalty. The way for pink and blue to blend is spelled out in Ephesians 5:33: “[Every husband] must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband” (NIV). Living out Ephesians 5:33 is the key to blending together as one to reflect the very image of God.”
― Emerson EggerichsThe Language of Love & Respect: Cracking the Communication Code with Your Mate

A way for you to show your respect for you husband this Valentine’s Day.

Write A letter

Write him a letter. In this letter don’t just tell him how much you love him but tell him but also all the things you respect about him. Actually use the words “I respect you” These words can pack a big punch. This is not only great for him to read but for you as well. By writing this you are focusing on the positive and expressing the things you admire about him.

Order the book and read it together. I am so thankful we did. Don’t forget to let me know if you do.


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