Have you ever stopped to think about how you parent your children? I am sure you have thought about all the ways you are thriving at motherhood and also the areas where you are failing. I am so sorry to tell you this but you are a bad mother! Woah, that is pretty harsh isn’t it? I would be sorry but it is the absolute truth and your children will let you know at the drop of a hat just how awful you really are.
WAYS YOU ARE BEING A BAD MOTHER
To make it easier for you and to help you avoid all the ways you are parenting wrong I will lay a few things out for you.
NOT BEING A MIND READER
- Giving your child the wrong color or character cup. Not sure how you didn’t know that when he said he wanted “Mickey Mouse” he really meant “Paw Patrol” even if it wasn’t verbally spoken. It really is a shame your mind reading skills are not sharper.
- Give them pants without pockets. Even though they didn’t request these pockets you should have known pants without them are unacceptable. Where will they put their important items like their paper clips, rocks, pieces of precious lint, toys that are too large to fit into their tiny pockets. If we don’t provide them with this small necessity for the day can we even say we are doing anything right?
- Nourish them. Give them endless food choices only to find out they started hating string cheese 5 minutes ago and the fact you haven’t cleared it from the fridge by now is a complete insult.
- You bring them the wrong shoes. You know, the ones they don’t think match their outfit? So they go pick out a better pair that isn’t even a pair. It is two right shoes and one is a boot and one is sandle.
DEMANDING GOOD HYGIENE
- Ask them to bathe. This one will sure set them off. They have become attached to the layers of dirt, yogurt, milk, and sauce that they smeared all over themselves throughout the day. Washing them would be like taking away their precious memories from their adventures.
- Want to really claim the bad mother title? Ask them to get out of the bath they didn’t even want to take in the first place. Just ruin a perfectly good splash time, wade through the 3 inches of standing water that is now on the floor and demand they stop spitting water at you and get out!
- Change a dirty poop diaper. Children just don’t understand why we don’t love them for who they are in all their stinky glory. Why can’t we just learn to love them without trying to change them? (Ha, see what I did there?)
STOP THEM FROM RUINING YOUR HOUSE
- You can rack up endless points on the bad mother scale by simply saying no. Sit back and watch the meltdown of a lifetime happen when you tell them “No, they can not create a small pond out of a gallon of milk in the floor.”
- Prevent them from writing on walls, pooping in the closet, and smearing toothpaste all over the bathroom. Informing them this is not the murals you have always dreamed of is a sure way to induce tears.
- Let them know that cutting their clothes with scissors, climbing a dresser, and hitting each other in the face with sticks is harmful. Caring about their personal safety and well-being is a sure way to uphold bad mothering.
It is time we as mothers get it together. These simple misunderstandings are tearing our children apart. You may have thought you were a good mother, now you know that if in fact, you are doing any or all of these things in your daily routine that you are wrong. Bad mothering is an epidemic and we must stop to raise happy children.
What are some ways that make you a “bad mother”?