Family Life

I don’t care what my children wear and neither should you.

 I am not sure why this is even a topic. Why as a society do we put so much stock into our outward appearance? Especially in children. It is crazy to look at a 2-year-old and immediately question what he is wearing or wonder why a 7-year-old was allowed to leave the house in 4 different animal prints.

My 7-year-old daughter likes to dress herself and it doesn’t always match. Guess what, I do not care. She likes to mix patterns, prints, and textures. She likes what she is wearing, you do not have to.

I want my children to know what they wear is not their value, that is not what society is teaching them. The message sent is you have to look a certain way or we won’t like you and you won’t be good enough. Priorities are all mixed up.

Their clothes, their faces, and their hair is clean but their shoes may not match.

Their personalities are shining, their laughter is contagious but they are wearing 3 different shades of blue.

Their faces are bright, their smile is ear to ear but they are wearing a superhero Halloween costume in the supermarket in June.

People sometimes don’t make it past their initial judgment to notice them, not what they are wearing but them as a person.

I get it, we all care how we look. Like a lot. I myself have a lot of issues with just leaving the house without makeup! I like to look nice and put together and you better believe if I am not, I feel inferior to all those around me. I do not want my children to be like me, I want them to be confident in whatever they are wearing. I want their self-worth to come from them and not their appearance.

I know some of you out there are like “woah, woah first impressions matter” and yes , you are right they absolutely do. When we are putting pressure on two year olds about their appearance it is no wonder why we can’t handle natural wrinkle lines as we age. Our first impression is never enough when it comes to appearance we are always being compared to everyone else.

When my child is grown and heading off to his first job interview I am not concerned if he is going to wear one crock and one rain boot. I am concerned if he will feel confident enough to walk into the room “owning” whatever suit he was able to afford. I don’t want him to base his performance on the clothes he was wearing because honestly, it will never be enough for this world we live in.

I am not saying to teach your kids to dress like slobs. They each have matching shoes, clothes outfits but my #1 priority is not to make them fit in it with their appearance, my #1 priority is my children’s self-confidence. Telling them constantly their choices are wrong is not getting me closer to my goal.

If I tell my daughter every single time she dresses herself that her outfit doesn’t match or the scarf she put in her hair really doesn’t go with her shoes what is that teaching her? I have seen her vibrant excited smile turn around after she picked her favorite outfit and I told her it didn’t match. To whose standards didn’t it match? Clearly mine because she loved it and I took that away from her.

I can’t change the way others feel about my children but I can help my children know their worth so they don’t feel inferior if they do not meet up with society’s standards.

I obviously know not everyone will agree with me on this but next time you see me and the kids out and we don’t look up to par, just know we are ok with it.

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Comments (12)

  1. I love this!! We let the kids dress themselves most of the time. Unless we are going somewhere nice, or when it’s picture day at school, we don’t care. I don’t bother matching my socks, and neither of the boys do either. It drives my mother-in-law crazy when the boys clothes don’t match, but I don’t care and neither do they. I have no fashion-sense anyways and sometimes think they are matching until I get told they really aren’t!!

  2. I love this! We celebrated my almost 5-year-old’s birthday party last weekend and she came downstairs dressed to the nines for her party… which included pajama pants, a fluffy tutu, and the shirt I bought her for the occasion. I asked her once if she’d like to put real pants on, but she said, “Nope, these are my favorite and I want to wear my favorites for my party.” Done. Now, when she asks me at fifteen why I dressed her like that, you better believe she’s gonna know it wasn’t me!

  3. It amazes me that people even THINK to judge what a child is wearing. My 4yo girl wears shirts she picked out that came from the “boys” department of Target, and I can’t understand why that always has to be pointed out like it’s an issue. She likes the shirt. She feels good in the shirt. She’s like 99.99999% positive she actually IS Batman when she wears the shirt. Why any grown adult would want to take that feeling away from her, or any child, is beyond me.

  4. I love the mismatched shoes! I feel the same way. If my daughter has the confidence to rock a completely mismatched outfit or a princess dress at the grocery store, then I am not going to dampen that! I want her to be confident being herself!

  5. When I see a child who probably dressed himself I think “Yeah, that’s a battle I wouldn’t fight either.” You’re teaching your kids to be themselves and I bet they’ll feel more confident in what they choose to wear! Go mama!

  6. Amen sister! My kids are grown up now, but I was this way. I am this way myself these days. You don’t like how I look? That’s okay, I like me! Thanks for sharing this so that maybe others can let their kids have some freedom and express their creativity.
    BTW- your kids look adorable!

  7. I use to be one of those parents that cared, but it was only because I was new to motherhood and wanted to experience the milestones of buying them cute outfits and all that. Now? They can wear whatever they like! My 5 year old girl has such a creative sense of fashion… and I LOVE it! I like kids being able to express their sense of style – whether its through clothes, shoes, or hairstyles… its them being creative.

  8. YES YES YES, I love when my kiddos dress themselves! I don’t care as long as they are not wearing soiled clothing or inappropriate like shorts and t-shirt in the dead of winter. My son loved his Christmas socks for one year he had about 4 pair and wore them every day on rotation.

  9. I LOVE this! My 4 year old likes to dress herself. The other day we went to the grocery store and she insisted on wearing a unicorn headband that I had made for her birthday. Why not, they are only young once!

  10. This has always upset me, too! When my daughter was about 18 months old, we went shopping on a really warm day. It happened to the be the first day of all. She was wearing shorts and a shirt that she had worn all summer, and someone told her, “Why are you wearing pink and green? It’s fall! You’re supposed to be wearing fall colors!” I seriously couldn’t believe that someone would say that to her!

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