Category: marriage

Take The Trip

Life marriage

Take The Trip

When was the last time you got away? It doesn’t have to be for a week or even the entire weekend. When was the last time you spent 24 hours away from the daily grind with just you and your spouse? Some of you may not even remember and I am here to tell you to take the trip.

With three soon to be four children, my husband and I don’t get a lot of uninterrupted time together. Our conversations involve multiple interruptions, delayed conversations and too many high stressed conversations trying to out talk the little people who are constantly begging for our attention.

Sometimes do you just want to run away? Yes? Well, do it. Pack your bags and head out for the weekend. It is time you invest some time into yourself, your spouse and your relationship. The excuses are piled up on reasons not to go but so are the reasons to take the trip.

Like I said this doesn’t have to be a long trip. My hubby and I sometimes can only swing 1 night away at our favorite bed and breakfast. That 24 hours absolutely helps us reset for our daily lives when we return home.

Plan

If a spontaneous trip is not possible, sit down and plan the dates that will work for you both. Find your babysitter, book your room and start the countdown. It always helps to have something special to look forward to. It doesn’t have to be a week-long adventure, one night away can leave you feeling refreshed just as much as a week long getaway.

Budget

When you start the search for your trip figure out what you can afford. The last thing you want to do is plan a relaxing getaway and end up fighting over finances when you get there. Evaluate the biggest bang for your buck and start saving. Remember to factor in your lodging, travel, food and any other expenses you might have while you are away.

Clear your head

Sometimes it is just so nice to get away and get a new perspective. Step away from the daily grind of life, full schedules, and demands of life for a short time. This is a great opportunity to gather new inspiration in a new setting.

Connect

Take this time to connect with your spouse. Quality time is so important and I feel in our daily lives we tend to push it aside. I love to just be with Keith, no matter what we are doing I find peace in his presence. We are more relaxed in our conversations knowing we don’t have to rush through a sentence before hearing “Hey, watch this” for the hundredth time.

relax

Don’t stress about what is happening at home. Try not to request constant updates from the sitter, you left the children in capable hands. This is a time to unwind and relax so try your best to soak in the uninterrupted quiet time. Nothing is better than a nice long bath reading a book without someone knocking on the door wanting to know where the animal crackers are.

So now that is decided, where will you be heading? The beach, a local Bed and Breakfast, hotel and night on the town? Let me know!

 

 

 

Showing Your Husband Respect

Life marriage

Showing Your Husband Respect

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. Oops, how could I forget? I think the real question here is how is it already mid-February? Did you forget too? Don’t fret if you don’t have time to run out to the store here is something you can do starting today.

Show him RESPECT.

Show him how much you respect him. Respect is a universal love language for men. Just like women love to hear how they are loved, a man yearns to hear how he is respected. How often do you think you show your husband how much you respect him, not just how much you love him but respect him? I  didn’t even realize the ways I was showing disrespect to my husband until I read the book Love & Respect. It was a game changer in our relationship. This book comes highly recommended and after reading I know why.

“In your marriage, be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11).”
― Emerson EggerichsLove & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

The Crazy Cycle first illustrates that “Without love, she reacts without respect and without respect, he reacts without love”.

“Wives are made to love, want to love, and expect love. Husbands are made to be respected, want respect, and expect respect” “When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband”. “Often, we focus on our own needs and simply overlook the needs of the other person”.

The Energizing Cycle He explains the Energizing cycle by using two acronyms to explain to men and women how to provide what their partner needs. To the men, he uses the acronym of C-O-U-P-L-E to remind them what their wives need. This is how you spell love to your wife:

  • Closeness—She wants you to be close.
  • Openness—She wants you to open up to her.
  • Understanding—Don’t try to fix her; just listen.
  • Peacemaking—She wants you to say, “I’m sorry.”
  • Loyalty—She needs to know you’re committed.
  • Esteem—She wants you to honor and cherish her.

To the women, he uses the acronym of C-H-A-I-R-S to remind them what their husbands needs. This is how you spell respect to your husband:

    • Conquest—Appreciate his desire to work and achieve.
    • Hierarchy—Appreciate his desire to protect and provide.
    • Authority—Appreciate his desire to serve and to lead.
    • Insight—Appreciate his desire to analyze and counsel.
    • Relationship—Appreciate his desire for shoulder-to-shoulder friendship.
    • Sexuality—Appreciate his desire for sexual intimacy.

“One of the most popular illustrations we use in Love and Respect Conferences compares women and men to pink and blue. The audience responds immediately when I talk about how she sees through pink sunglasses and hears with pink hearing aids, while he sees through blue sunglasses and hears with blue hearing aids. In other words, women and men are very different. Yet, when blue blends with pink, it becomes purple, God’s color—the color of royalty. The way for pink and blue to blend is spelled out in Ephesians 5:33: “[Every husband] must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband” (NIV). Living out Ephesians 5:33 is the key to blending together as one to reflect the very image of God.”
― Emerson EggerichsThe Language of Love & Respect: Cracking the Communication Code with Your Mate

A way for you to show your respect for you husband this Valentine’s Day.

Write A letter

Write him a letter. In this letter don’t just tell him how much you love him but tell him but also all the things you respect about him. Actually use the words “I respect you” These words can pack a big punch. This is not only great for him to read but for you as well. By writing this you are focusing on the positive and expressing the things you admire about him.

Order the book and read it together. I am so thankful we did. Don’t forget to let me know if you do.

 

Child-like Forgiveness

Family Life marriage motherhood

Child-like Forgiveness

I want to be more child-like. Isn’t it amazing how a child sees you? How they view you through those innocent eyes. Their ability to show you unfailing love. The unparalleled forgiveness they give.   Do you ever think you should be more like a child?

a child’s heart is inspiring.

A child allows so much grace when you fall a little short. While you are being hard on yourself, they are extending grace. They speak forgiveness when you react with a harsh tone. They somehow always see the best of you, even when you can’t even begin to believe it yourself.

Just this week my kids said some things that really stuck with me. Mav broke one of M’s toys and she was upset. Maxx comforting her tells her “Don’t worry sissy, daddy will fix it. Daddy can fix anything.” I thought wow, he really believes in his daddy. My husband is a very talented and handy man, I rely on him to fix most things but everything? I can only wish to show as much faith as Maxx.

The things they observe is absolutely amazing. A few nights ago while reading a story we started talking about how much we love daddy. M jumps in and says “Nobody loves daddy more than mommy” This made me think about all the things they take away from my relationship with Keith, while it made me beam with joy knowing my love for him shows it also made me think of the things they over look.

Wouldn’t it be nice to see the good in everything? To always see the best in others rather than focusing on their flaws. I know my relationship with Keith isn’t perfect but my kids only file away the good while overruling any of the negative. Keith isn’t able to fix everything but Maxx sure believes in his ability, so why don’t we do these things? Why can’t we be more child-like?

They are not always happy with us as parents. I will be the first to tell you I am not perfect, I raise my voice entirely too much but they don’t doubt us, never question our love for them. Holding a grudge is not something they do. Do I hold too many grudges?

I know my children can get really upset when something of theirs gets broken or lost. You don’t hear them bringing up the toy you broke and throwing it in your face three weeks later. They extend forgiveness. Do I extend enough forgiveness?

I know I do not show the grace and forgiveness as I should. I know my voice can be too harsh and my anger last too long. I am striving to follow the example set by my children. Although they are not slow to anger, they are most certainly quick to forgive.

All of these traits are what we as adults seek. I know for myself this to be true. I am making it a priority to be more like a child so I can lead my family by example. I want them to not only see the love I have for them and their daddy but also the forgiveness, grace and faith.

You are not always the teacher in the household. Your children have many valuable lessons to share, just take notice.

Your children have many valuable lessons to share, just take notice.