While I know I am blessed, I also know that I am annoyed. In the pure chaos of my day, it is easy to go from Awe-Struck to Awe ____, and that’s ok. No matter what you hear, it isn’t always rainbows and sunshine when you are nurturing and caring for a small human.
Yes, I know this time is fleeting. I know they won’t be little forever. I know I am going to miss their sweet little voices and tiny hands but I guarantee I will not miss the game of “Chase me around the van” I absolutely will miss that laugh but nope, not the game.
Trust me I blinked and my tiny bundle of pink turned 7. It flew by and I know when I blink again she will be 14. I get that time passes quickly and I can not get these moments back. Do you want me to be honest? I don’t want all of them back. I won’t miss going to the grocery store and my child missing his brother’s head with a bag of bread and smacking the lady stocking shelves in the shoulder. No, that is a time of embarrassment I don’t care to relive.
It doesn’t matter how many times you tell me I will miss those middle of the night cuddles I will always respond with “but not the kicks in the face”. Right now little to no cuddling is happening and a lot of asking for ice cream at 3 am is going on. Will I miss them when they no longer want to crawl in bed with me? Absolutely but I am not going to miss that swift kick in the ribs waking me up from my peaceful slumber.
Now that your children are grown and you are all rested, it sure is easy to tell me what I will miss. I hate to break it to you, I am not going to miss being beaten by a tiny child until half of my body is hanging off the bed. So stop trying to make me feel bad about it. Yes, I know you have “been there, done that” but I am “In here, doing it right now”. It is amazing and exhausting at the same time.
Do you get into your clean car and think “Oh I miss the smell of spoiled milk sippy cups, forgotten diapers, and stale fries?” My guess is probably no. My reaction getting into my minivan “What crawled up and died in here?” Will I miss my kids being small enough for a sippy cup, absolutely but let’s not pretend any of us miss that awful smell.
It is completely ok to absolutely love and cherish your children but still want to stop cleaning poop off the walls. Will I miss them being too old to smear poop on the wall? HAHA no, I am ready for that whole chapter to be closed and over.
Just because I am willing to talk about the hard things doesn’t mean I don’t soak in the sweet moments. I am storing them all away. Soaking in every single moment that my child holds my hand, tells me I am the best mommy, reaches a goal, and never forgetting the feeling where they just flat out knock me over with love. I also don’t want to forget the times where I thought I couldn’t do it anymore when my stress got to be too much when I honestly couldn’t figure out how I could go another night without sleep. These times are what makes all those precious moments even more special.
When I look back I want to know exactly what we went through, how hard we had to work on some days and how easy others were. No sugar coating any of it. Real life moments are what make real life.
Motherhood is hard, it’s ok to be annoyed when you are at your peak stress and you step on soaking wet carpet. But don’t worry, take a deep breath and remember they are only little once so enjoy that big puddle of milk you just stepped in. Haha just kidding, you don’t have to enjoy that. These are important parts motherhood but not the ones you have to cherish, and that’s ok!