Category: Family

What my mother never told me

Family Life motherhood

What my mother never told me

There are things I wish my mother would have told me about MOTHERHOOD.

My mom was super open with me about parenting. She told me of the funny stories about my brother and I being less than perfect children. She told me of the joys, struggles and gratification of being a mother. She also gave me the oh so fun warning of “you will pay for your raising” What does that even mean anyway?

There are still somethings my mother never told me. So I figure if mine never told me, yours might not have either.  So here is goes.

No matter what you do, you will always be wrong. Discipline your kid too much? You are being to harsh on them. Not discipline them enough? You are raising little hellions. Laughing when your kid hits their brother in the face with a ball? You are raising a little monster. Guys, there are just some things I do not care about. You know the saying pick your battles? Yeah, we do that. We prioritize what we feel is a kid being 2 years old against what we feel will lead to them to being a nuisance to society.

There will be so much stuff. Stuff, everywhere.  From tiny socks to big piles of toys they are everywhere filling every crack of your house. Overflowing from drawers, underneath your bed, stuffed in your shoe. If there is space. You will fill it.

They need to eat. Ok, so I knew this one but I didn’t quite know to what extent. They need to eat ALOT. So many trips to the kitchen for fruit, yogurt, cheese, crackers, steak…..whatever they can get their tiny little hands on. They will eat it, all of it. Except dinner they wouldn’t dare eat that ludicrous meal.

They always need to use the bathroom at the worst possible time. Why is it they need to poop as soon as you get on the interstate? Why does their sudden urge to pee happen when you are no where near a bathroom?  No seriously I am asking, do you know?

You will spend the majority of your time cleaning. There is always a mess to clean, laundry to do, dishes to wash. They are even kind enough to make a new mess right after you have cleaned up the last mess. Since you are always cleaning they assume it is your passion and want to provide you with more of what you love.

If there is a button, they will push it. Really, any and all buttons will be pushed. Elevator buttons, handicap door buttons, emergency exits at Walmart, possibly the life support button if there is such thing. They see it, they will push it.

You will find stickers stuck to everything. You will discover stickers on the wall, the floor, the fridge, your clothes, the van windows, the bottom of your shoes. I mean everywhere. I don’t even know where they are getting all these things.

You say phrases you never thought would come out of your mouth. Examples include. “Stop peeing on your brother” “Who pooped in the closet?” “Please do not take your pants off in the store”

You will have an overwhelming amount of love. You will question daily how you can love these little humans so much. Their sweet little smiles can light up your whole day. The hilarious things they say can make you laugh so deep you will wonder if you have ever experienced so much joy before. No one can prepare you for the first time you hold your baby. The instant love that rushes over you is unreal. This overwhelming love is like non other.

You wouldn’t change a single second. I wouldn’t trade all the piles of laundry and messes for any other life. This is what I love, this is what I live for. This is what makes my heart happy.

As you wonder how you did life before the judgment, opinions, piles, grocery overload, bathroom trips, messes, apologies for making the alarm sound, and everything else that comes with motherhood. Remember you are doing the hardest most rewarding job there is.  So enjoy this messy, fun and joyous adventure of motherhood you are on.

Is mom brain real?

Family Life

Is mom brain real?

 

I tend to forget things, not the big things but things. Something as simple as cooking food in a crockpot for 2 hours without it being turned on. Where I left my keys, my phone, my purse, my car, my sanity? Always asking myself questions; Did I shampoo my hair? What was I supposed to do today? What even is today? Why is my phone in the refrigerator? Why am I in this room? Where did all these kids come from? HA, on that last one but really they do keep multiplying.

Have you ever heard someone refer to their “mom-brain” after they have forgotten something? You keep checking with someone after you sent something and are cursing the post office on the late arrival until you look up and its still in your visor…..waiting to be mailed. Did you declare “mom-brain”? When you are rushing around trying to get everyone ready to avoid being late for yet another appointment, you get everyone loaded into the minivan and you hear “I don’t have shoes, I forgot to brush my teeth, I don’t have pants on” These were all obviously things on your to do list so is “mom-brain” to blame?

I know some pretty awesome mothers, they really are some special women. They each care for their family, they love their kids wholeheartedly and work tirelessly day and night. So why is it they forget their kid’s birthday? I do not know how many times I have tried to explain that I do love my kids after they tell me to try again on the date. I tend to get the boys mixed up, they are only 1 year apart cut me some slack. Mothers are smart, multitasking, productive people so why do we accidentally put hand soap on our toothbrush instead of toothpaste? Mom-brain, thats why.

mommy-brain. Noun.  A state in which a new mother is forgetful, absentminded, or easily distracted.

Did you know your brain grows after childbirth?  According to LiveScience “it remains unclear exactly why the brain grows, the researchers said it might be that an increase in hormones— including estrogen, oxytocin and prolactin — play a role.” These changes have an impact on a mother’s brain. It is real, guys. Science even says so.

Sleep deprivation is another huge player in our forgetfulness. It is pretty hard to remember the easiest of tasks when you are running on very little sleep and that little amount you managed to get was interrupted. Sleep is an important part of your health and wellbeing, as mothers we are lacking.

Stress also contributes to our being absentminded. You know the stress of a major life change, caring for and keeping a small little human alive? If you have older children add their care, the household, work, your husband and all the daily decisions you have to make. This can be overwhelming.

Multitasking is a factor in our distractions. As good as women are at multitasking, like all things it has it’s perks as well as downfalls. Studies show if you are arranging a playdate with a friend while you are making lunch you are more likely to forget the arrival time or place. Focusing on more than one thing at once makes it hard for our brain to store important information.

The good news is we can help fight the mommy-brain. If we just get more sleep, stop stressing and do one thing at a time. HA! Is there an instant button I can push to make this happen?

We do not have much control over the sleep our baby allows us to get during the middle of the night but there are a few things we can do to help catch up on some zzz’s. Stay off your phone before bed. Although it is nice to read 100 posts about the weather you can use that time to get a coveted 30 minutes more of sleep. I know it is easier said than done but if you are pushed to your max exhausted, sleep when the baby sleeps. Your kids need you refreshed more than they need an empty sink clear of any dishes.

As far as stress goes, this is a hard one. As mother’s we will always worry about the well being of our family. But I am here to tell you, you are doing a great job. Your child will thrive with the love you show him and he will not be affected by the pile of laundry that needs to be done. You are enough. So relax and enjoy that time together.

I do not think we can stop with doing 5 things at once. I am constantly doing and saying multiple things at all times of the day but we can help with the distractions. Write things down…..in the same place so you don’t forget where you left that sticky note. Keep your appointments, thoughts, and important events all in one easy to find place.

So whether you call it mom-brain, momnesia or simply your brain going to mush just remember you are not alone. Others out there have looked hours for their keys only to find them hanging on their light switch. You have not been the only one to get into the wrong van, or try to unlock the wrong front door.

Mommy moment and photo submitted by Jacqui

Our job as mothers is so very important, so always find joy in journey……the journey in the parking lot looking for your car.

Thank you to all the mommas who contributed with their best “mom-brain” moments.  Do you have a funny “mom-brain” moment? Drop a comment with your favorite.

7 things NOT to say to a mother

Family Life

7 things NOT to say to a mother

 

There are some things better left unsaid. You know the saying your momma taught you growing up, “If you ain’t got anything nice to say don’t say nothin’ at all” There are so many times where you should apply this to your life. Some things just shouldn’t be said to a mother, I mean ever. So stop, think and take that advice from that sweet  momma of yours. They always know best.

    1. “My kids would never do that”
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      No, just no. If you don’t say it with your mouth, we can see you spewing that judgement with your eyes. Your child may not have done the exact thing as mine but I am sure they can suck too! I do not need it. Parenting is hard enough without you adding doubts to the job I am doing.

    2. “When I have kids…….they will never” HAHAHAHA, OK!  My imaginary kids would probably have never smeared their poop on the wall and floors, then ran it over with a truck either. My kids were perfectly behaved children too……until they were actually birthed into existence.
    3. “Well when my dog was having that issue we just…….”
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      Great! Thanks for the advice. Can you get me the number to the veterinarian for them to treat my child’s aliments? The only similarities I can see to the dog and my child are both are not potty trained, they both drool a lot, both enjoy a good chase and they like to tear up my stuff. Ok, fine there are a few similar things but not how to treat their seizures medically, I will go to the pediatrician for that.

    4. “Aw, you are a SAHM? That is so great but when do you get back to work?” 
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      Ummmmm, excuse me? Does the title I just gave you not give you enough satisfaction, should I be doing something else? Does constantly meeting the needs of my family, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, cleaning up mess after mess not constitute work? No?  That’s fine, I am completely fulfilled with my life and the work I do. I did not put off or forget the goals and dreams I made for myself, this right here has always been my goal.

    5. “Aw, you are a working mom? That’s so awesome you get a break from your kids”
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      Again, ummmmmm, excuse me? “You mean those 8 hours spent answering to other people after I have already gotten up three hours before my “break” starts, just so I can attempt to make myself presentable to the general public, pack the car, drag two sleepy kids out of bed before they are ready and get them dressed, haul them across town to childcare (where 70% of my paycheck goes), and then milk myself in a closet 3 times a day? Yeah, it’s pretty great…” actual response from a working mom who is tired of hearing this.

    6. “Soooo, How many kids ARE you going to have?” 
      {wifflegif.com}

      Nun-Yo-Business guy in the Walmart checkout line. Why do you even need to know this. You are a complete stranger, I really don’t feel the need to discuss our family planning with you right now, or ever. Who else gets the oddest questions asked in Walmart?

    7. “There are no public restrooms here”
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       What?? NO?? This response induces more fear in me than I can describe. I never beg as hard as I do when I am asking if my 2 year old can just use the bathroom so he doesn’t pee all over the shelving in this store. Let’s start a petition to have all bathrooms open to potty training children! Who is with me?

Now you know. Just keep it in.

If you have a few things you have been wanting to let your family know,  Check out 9 Things I Need My Family to Know for a little inspiration.

9 Things I need my family to know

Family Life

9 Things I need my family to know

I love taking care of my family. I believe being a wife and mother is my true calling. However, if something ever happened to me there are some very important things I desperately need my family to know. I feel like this is some of the most vital information I could pass on.

  1. How to change the toilet paper roll. When one roll is completely finished, when there is just no more paper on the roll you must throw the old one away and insert a new one onto the rod. It’s truly the only way to complete the circle of good hygiene.
  2. Where your shoes are. Hint: they are not in the place they are supposed to be…..don’t even look there, you won’t find them in the proper place. Do however look under beds, inside your dressers and atop the ceiling fan. Also you will never find a pair of shoes in the same room, so always check the whole house or the van…….where I told you not to leave them.
  3. What’s for dinner? This one is hard because sometimes I don’t always know, especially not when I am tucking you into bed or pouring your bowl of cereal. I do know there will be dinner, so stop asking.
  4. I want you to have confidence in yourself. To know you are truly capable of picking up the absolute disaster of a mess you just made all by yourself. You can do this, I believe in you.
  5. To know you have a special radar power. This power will ping of any missing object helping you to find it’s location. I use it often, usually to find your shoes. Well, this is not really for you boys, you somehow don’t develop this but don’t worry your wife will have it! You are welcome Keith for my supernatural finding ability.
  6. They have recently came out with a nifty invention called the clothes hamper. With this you are able to store your dirty clothes until you wash them. What??? This means you no longer have to leave them all over the house! Gamechanger.
  7. The magic table. I know you have all seen this video, if not watch it.  It doesn’t vanish on it’s own guys…..it’s me……I do it! Please locate the nearest trashcan.
  8. The bathroom is not the perfect location to have bonding time. Please in your adult lives do not barge into bathrooms when people are doing their business. It is very important to wait to ask any important questions such as, “What are you doing?” or give a simple “hello” until after they have exited the bathroom.
  9. I love you with my whole heart. I love each of you very very very much, but also want you to pick ups after yourselves.

This is my list, not an all inclusive lists there are more I am sure. These may not even be the top 9 but they are definitely must know things. I actually wouldn’t mind them reading right now.

Hello, I’m here!

Family Life

Hello, I’m here!

You know that feeling of all your nerves, fear and excitement bubbling to the surface? When you are unsure of what will happen but you know you won’t find out unless you try. Insert me smack in the middle of all the feels when I decided to start this blog. Will anyone read what I write, do I really have anything to say, will the 7 people who subscribe this like what I am sharing? Honestly, who knows……..but I am going for it anyway!

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{You only have 3 choices}

I have wanted to have a blog for a while now, being told over and over again that people would love to read the chaos that surrounds my daily life (each one of you who told me that better be reading this). I am looking forward to sharing with all of you not only the craziness of the happenings in the Burch household but also recipes, crafts funnies and other little tidbits. I hope to fill this blog with humor, fun and love.

Our schedule is flexible and our daily grind is pretty simple, we do not follow any complex guidelines here.

  • We like our food home cooked, delicious and comforting.
  • We go for fun and togetherness during the day, while relaxing at home is our perfect date night.
  • Parenting goals; teaching our kids to be kind, honest, hard working adults.
  • Repeat, “Do not loose your mind today” {my daily mantra}

…………see simple!

We live an imperfect life full of twists and turns. I never know what will happen when my feet hit the floor each morning but I do know I love the life I live. Every second of our busy, crazy life is messy exhausting and full of love. So get ready for some interesting stories that only my family can pull off (lucky me). I am so thankful to have you on this journey with me………..now let’s get to it friends!!

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{We are basically BFF’s now, thanks for reading!}

Read more about me and the family here Meet the crew

Meet the crew

Family Life Meet the crew

Meet the crew

My family gives me so much joy, take my breath away, be still my heart, overflowing joy. One thing I have always known is I wanted to do motherhood and I wanted to do it with my whole heart. I have an amazing mother who put me first in all things and I wanted to reflect that in my own mothering. So lets meet the ones who I treasure.

 

    {The fam}
  photo credits to Elle.Bea.Photography

 

We will start with Keith, my hubby. I have been crushin’ on this man since high school. Even at the young age of 15 I knew this was the guy I was going to marry. He is strongest, funniest, most hard headed, determined, loving and perseverant man I know. He works hard everyday for our family and loves us fiercely, I can not express my appreciation for the life we have built. We have been through so much in our life together but we have made it through each obstacle with a new sense of self. I am so blessed to be married to this man. I know this is sappy, boy does he hate sappy but it’s truth.

My children are fun, making everyday a new adventure. They are hilarious sometimes like “Haha, I made a funny joke”  funny and sometimes like “Haha, lets all laugh and appreciate the fact we are not dealing with that absolute disaster” funny. Seriously the things these kids think of….well lets just say I could write a book or seven.

There is so much I could say about each of my children but I will just give you a quick look, we will start with MaKenzie, the oldest. Geez, I love this girl! She is so smart, compassionate, and freaking funny. She doesn’t even know how funny she is which usually makes whatever she says even funnier. She cares deeply, so so deep. This girls feels everything and she shows it by sharing compassion and love. I absolutely adore this about her.  Oh yeah, she is the extremely safety oriented. Do not break a rule around her, I repeat DO NOT do it….this is for your own good!

Maxx is our middle child, he is awesome. He is the perfect mixture of sweet and mischievous. He loves to cuddle you but also likes to do really sneaky stuff. He is completely fearless which induces more fear in me for our future. He will try anything once and if that fails he will try it again and again just in case it works the next time. He is super smart, like mechanically smart. The things this kid can do amaze me (not always helpful in the keeping of sanity though). He keeps our life fun and keeps us guessing on whats going on in that mind of his. I just love him and his sweet and crazy spirit.

Maverick is our baby (for now) and he is hungry, I mean this kid could eat any minute of the day. He is also our wild child,  at the sweet age of 2 he loves an argument. He will disagree with anything you say just for fun. He is always getting into trouble with his antics and he simply doesn’t even care.  He is also so incredibly sweet and loves to cuddle “I want you momma, hold me” are the words that melt my heart…..daily! This boy pushes me to my limits in both the sanity and love categories……..I love his little personality.

I just love how each child has such a different personality and temperament. I was chosen to parent the best, I am not sure how I became so lucky.

 

SURPRISE photo credits to Elle.Bea.Photography

 

Oh but why is M holding an ultrasound picture you ask? Seems weird I thought you said you were done having children? Oh you just thought you were? HAHAHAHAHA, it is just so funny when we try to make up our own plans isn’t it?!  We found out we will be adding baby #4 to our family in 2017!! What a fun, unexpected, welcomed and exciting surprise.

So that is it for now. Just a glimpse into my little tribe.

Trust me…..more stories about them are coming your way!