Category: Life

I don’t care what my children wear and neither should you.

Family Life

I don’t care what my children wear and neither should you.

 I am not sure why this is even a topic. Why as a society do we put so much stock into our outward appearance? Especially in children. It is crazy to look at a 2-year-old and immediately question what he is wearing or wonder why a 7-year-old was allowed to leave the house in 4 different animal prints.

My 7-year-old daughter likes to dress herself and it doesn’t always match. Guess what, I do not care. She likes to mix patterns, prints, and textures. She likes what she is wearing, you do not have to.

I want my children to know what they wear is not their value, that is not what society is teaching them. The message sent is you have to look a certain way or we won’t like you and you won’t be good enough. Priorities are all mixed up.

Their clothes, their faces, and their hair is clean but their shoes may not match.

Their personalities are shining, their laughter is contagious but they are wearing 3 different shades of blue.

Their faces are bright, their smile is ear to ear but they are wearing a superhero Halloween costume in the supermarket in June.

People sometimes don’t make it past their initial judgment to notice them, not what they are wearing but them as a person.

I get it, we all care how we look. Like a lot. I myself have a lot of issues with just leaving the house without makeup! I like to look nice and put together and you better believe if I am not, I feel inferior to all those around me. I do not want my children to be like me, I want them to be confident in whatever they are wearing. I want their self-worth to come from them and not their appearance.

I know some of you out there are like “woah, woah first impressions matter” and yes , you are right they absolutely do. When we are putting pressure on two year olds about their appearance it is no wonder why we can’t handle natural wrinkle lines as we age. Our first impression is never enough when it comes to appearance we are always being compared to everyone else.

When my child is grown and heading off to his first job interview I am not concerned if he is going to wear one crock and one rain boot. I am concerned if he will feel confident enough to walk into the room “owning” whatever suit he was able to afford. I don’t want him to base his performance on the clothes he was wearing because honestly, it will never be enough for this world we live in.

I am not saying to teach your kids to dress like slobs. They each have matching shoes, clothes outfits but my #1 priority is not to make them fit in it with their appearance, my #1 priority is my children’s self-confidence. Telling them constantly their choices are wrong is not getting me closer to my goal.

If I tell my daughter every single time she dresses herself that her outfit doesn’t match or the scarf she put in her hair really doesn’t go with her shoes what is that teaching her? I have seen her vibrant excited smile turn around after she picked her favorite outfit and I told her it didn’t match. To whose standards didn’t it match? Clearly mine because she loved it and I took that away from her.

I can’t change the way others feel about my children but I can help my children know their worth so they don’t feel inferior if they do not meet up with society’s standards.

I obviously know not everyone will agree with me on this but next time you see me and the kids out and we don’t look up to par, just know we are ok with it.

Tales From Poop Mom

Life motherhood

Tales From Poop Mom

You know when Facebook shows you “On This Day” and you get to go back and look at some awesome memories, or maybe delete a few posts you posted back in 2009 when you were having “the worst day ever“. Mine likes to show me some pretty fun things I have posted over the years and never realized how much crap my kids do. Literally crap, my timeline is filled with poop.

Literally crap, my timeline is filled with poop. I love these babes, I really do but I am shocked I still have even an ounce of sanity left in my system. Want to start your day off right? Have a look back on my facebook timeline and be thankful you didn’t have to clean any of this up!

Who does this?

All this kid thinks about is poop

 

Guys, why?

 

We read books about poop

 

We play pranks with poop

 

and they do this, I still have no answers.

 

There is so much more I don’t even post about. I once walked into a poop filled room where two little boys were supposed to be sleeping and instead played monster trucks on piles of poop. It was awful. We find poop in the strangest places, in closets, smeared on the walls, in shoes.  I am not even sure they are human anymore!

Despite their absolutely disgusting behavior, I still love them and I wouldn’t change them in the slightest. Well, I may change the amount of poop I have had to clean up! I have earned my title as “PoopMom”

What about you? Do you have any fun stories? Please tell me I am not the only one who has poop stories.

Parenting Through the Generations-Baby Boomer

guest post Life motherhood

Parenting Through the Generations-Baby Boomer

I have always been intrigued by each generation, the strengths, differences, and similarities are so vast. I have a special interest in generational parenting, it amazes me to see the changes in parenting but also to take notice of the things that have not changed over time.

I thought and thought about how I would approach this subject and realized I couldn’t do it alone so I reached out to some blogging friends of mine and together we have created a month long Generational Parenting Series. Each week this month you will hear from a mother telling us her perspective on parenting. Look for a wrap up of my point of view on the last week.  I look forward to sharing this journey of motherhood with each of you.

Parenting as a Baby Boomer ~ by NoniKay of www.happyhour786.com

As a baby boomer there were very few resources for young parents. No webmd.com at the touch of your mouse. No FaceTime to call Grandma and get some expert advice from the previous generation. No unlimited texting to your friend who is a nurse. No quick email to the pediatrician’s office.

Landlines were the name of the game and long-distance phone calls were expensive. Snail mail was the primary means of communication with out of town family members. Encyclopedia Brittanica or a Mayo Clinic Family Health Book (or both) were on bookshelves in many homes. Junior is running a temp? Someone broke out in a rash for an unknown reason? Run to either the encyclopedia or the family health book. Try to glean as much info as you can and try to decide if you need to take Junior to the family doctor or not. (I had never heard of taking a child to a pediatrician until the mid-70’s). Someone in the family needed to go to the doctor? Regardless of age, everyone went to the family doctor (a general practitioner).

The late 60’s and early 70’s were a time when many young families moved a distance away from their birth home to gain employment. These moves may have gained them a steady income but it came at the price of leaving their primary support system. Left behind were friends they had known since childhood. Also left behind were grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.

I gave birth to my eldest son as a single mother at the age of 19. Unwed mothers at that time were a source of great embarrassment to their families. I was sent away to Seattle, WA. Throughout my pregnancy, I received a tremendous amount of pressure from my parents to give my child up for adoption. I gave birth with only the doctor and a couple of nurses in attendance. I decided to keep my child which brought down the wrath of my parents. Several religious social workers were immediately called by my parents and told to contact me. Those social workers then attempted to put even more pressure on me to relinquish my son.

My father refused to see my son at all. My mother visited me in Seattle one time during my son’s first 1 1/2 years of life.  My father saw him for the first time (not by choice) at 18 months of age.  Resources such as MOPS, Parents Without Partners, Love and Logic classes? Those were either non-existent at that time or I missed the memo. Money was in short supply and help to new parents (especially an unwed mother) was a scarcity.

How did I differ as a parent from my parents? I can only hope I was better but I live daily with the knowledge that I could have been so much more and done so much better.

My father believed that if you spared the rod, you spoiled the child. Never was there a word of praise or encouragement. The leather belt was almost a daily occurrence in my life. By today’s standards, he was an abusive parent. The best days were those that my father was gone and my mother and grandmother were the only adults in our lives.

How did I differ? I tried to tell my children multiple times each day how much I loved them, how proud I was of them, how glad I was to be their mom. I made mistakes. Many mistakes. There were days when I lost my cool totally and ended up being that mom who sounded like a shrew! Days when stress from money problems, motherhood, marriage issues (I married when my son was 3 yrs of age) became too much and I lost it. I’m not proud of those days at all. Especially with my firstborn child, I feel there were many times I was too rough on him. That whole first child thing? Where we, as parents, want to do it all so ‘right’ and in the process probably make ourselves and our child a little crazy. Can you relate to that?

I feel it wasn’t until the late 70’s that I had started to relax into the role of motherhood a bit more. I think by then I found my groove a little and didn’t stress about every tiny thing. I let myself have more fun with my kids by that time. My oldest son was almost 10 and he was a great kid. Such a good big brother, already a budding artist and a friendly kid with a killer smile that he flashed often.

Like many couples in the 70’s we needed extra money. One income just wasn’t cutting it. We weren’t able to make ends meet so I went back to work. It was an era when many women were either entering or reentering the workforce. The reasons were varied. Whether it was because their family needed the extra income or because Mom didn’t feel fulfilled being a stay at home mother, the end result was the same.

Child care became a bigger and bigger issue. Licensed daycare facilities were not yet common. Many young couples had no family nearby. Children as young as 8-10 often became latch key kids. Left unattended in the home for 2-4 hours each day until one or both parents got home from work. While quality parenting is of utmost importance, the quantity of parenting time is important also. Not fully understanding the impact on the children when they do not have adequate time with their parents is very likely the biggest downfall of baby boomer parents. Like any other detrimental event in the life of a child, the full impact isn’t realized until the child is grown.

While in a 2013 Huffington Post article we were called the “worst generation ever” and a “generation of narcissists: the baby boomers.” http://www.huffingtonpost.com/gene-marks/this-is-why-the-baby-boom_b_4441735.html ,

that has not been my personal experience. My friends, my ex-husband and I all worked hard to provide for our young families. We volunteered as room mothers, fundraisers, Little League coaches, soccer coaches, etc. We tried each day to help our children learn, expand their world with new experiences, feel loved, feel confident in their world and their ability to meet new challenges.

I can’t speak for everyone in my boomer generation. I can only speak of my experience and what I observed of my friends as we raised our families. Many of us struggled financially. Many of us were unable to hold our marriages together and experienced the heartbreak of divorce and it’s devastating effects on our children. Many of us had little or no support from extended family.

In my circle of friends and family I know we tried to support each other. We tried to support one another’s children. In that immediate circle we have raised teachers, doctors, nurses, lawyers, pastors, welders, carpenters, artists, musicians and more. They are productive, respectful, loving and kind. They are now great parents to our grandchildren.

Did we make mistakes? Oh, you bet we did. Do we wish we had done things differently? Of course. Hindsight is always 20/20. Do we think we parented better than we were parented? Yes. We loved our kids and weren’t afraid to articulate that to them regularly. We tried to talk with them, discuss with them, teach them to think independently and hopefully make smart decisions. We tried to be there for them then and now as they are experiencing their own parenting challenges.

WEEK 1 PART 1 MILLENNIAL PARENTING 

WEEK 1 PART 2 MILLENNIAL PARENTING

week 2 Gen X Parenting

Meet NoniKay

NoniKay is a blogger, coffee addict, lover of wine (only a few specific kinds) and margaritas (especially those made with Mexican tequila – yup, those are good!).   

She is a mother of 4 adult children (1 deceased), stepmother to 2 adult children, grandmother to 7 bio grandchildren and 3 she gained when she remarried in 2010. A baby boomer herself, she has parented as a single teen, a co-parent with her ex, and as a single parent. 

She spent her career in government work on the county and city level. Additionally, she owned/operated her own contract Guardian ad Litem business for 16 years.  

She is now retired and enjoying retirement. She and “The Husband” enjoy traveling and love being an active part of their children and grandchildren’s’ lives.  Although she is pretty sure she learned more from her children than she ever taught them, the most worthwhile accomplishment in her life is, in her words, “raising my family.” 

You can follow her blog at www.happyhour786.com or find her on

Twitter at  https://twitter.com/tohappyhour786 or on 

Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/happyhour786/ or on

StumbleUpon at http://www.stumbleupon.com/stumbler/Happyhour786 or on

Pinterest at https://www.pinterest.com/happyhour786/ or on

Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/HappyHour786-1790017327948541/?ref=bookmarks

Guest Post Feature

Life motherhood

Guest Post Feature

Have you wondered how you would react if you found yourself staring at a very unexpected positive pregnancy test? What feelings would rush over you? Fear? Joy? Panic? Shock? Baby #4 was a huge surprise for us but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a welcomed one.

I have learned life doesn’t always play out exactly how we expected. We often get hit with drastic changes, twists and turns we didn’t see coming. God’s plan for us is far greater than we can even imagine.

I recently was asked to do a guest post over at swaddlesnbottles.com about the shock of finding out we were having ANOTHER baby!  Here is a small excerpt from the post.

I was feeling nauseous when I woke up from a mid-day nap. With three rambunctious children I don’t normally have that luxury but this day I couldn’t fight it, I was exhausted. I woke up with the thought, I am pregnant. But I couldn’t be, could I? We were done, I was on birth control and life was already crazy.

Read the full post here, Shock and Awe of Baby #4

Parenting Through the Generations Gen X

Family Life motherhood

Parenting Through the Generations Gen X

I have always been intrigued by each generation, the strengths, differences, and similarities are so vast. I have a special interest in generational parenting, it amazes me to see the changes in parenting but also to take notice of the things that have not changed over time.

I thought and thought about how I would approach this subject and realized I couldn’t do it alone so I reached out to some blogging friends of mine and together we have created a month long Generational Parenting Series. Each week this month you will hear from a mother telling us her perspective on parenting. Look for a wrap up of my point of view on the last week.  I look forward to sharing this journey of motherhood with each of you.

Thoughts from a Gen X Mom JENNIFER GRIFFIN

 

When I planned our trip to Panama to visit my mother-in-law for six weeks, I never imagined I would be experiencing the extra bonus of reliving the 1970’s with my children—a bit like visiting an intergenerational theme park.

Nostalgic moments filled our rented house as I talked on the telephone attached to the wall, twisting the long coiled cord around my index finger. As I taught my children the art of adjusting the T.V. antenna to get a clearer picture, I half-heartedly hoped the fuzz would not appear during an important scene, but squealed with delight when it did because it was another chance to share a glimpse of my childhood with my kids.

With only four T.V. channels, my kids would look forward to whatever cheesy special was advertised for the next day, even though the shows were in Spanish—a language they did not understand. There were no remotes so we would lazily negotiate who had to get up next to change the channel.

As we watched the 2012 Olympics on this primitive color TV, we failed to realize that Gabriella’s leotard was not the color we thought until we caught a glimpse on the neighbor’s newer analog television.

Without reliable electricity, the kids needed to rely on playing with each other and the neighbors. One thunderstorm-filled afternoon, my daughter and her new neighborhood friend ran back and forth between houses gathering ingredients to make cupcakes. They sat cross-legged on the kitchen floor relishing in the simplicity of watching their cupcakes rise through the oven door.

Even though I welcomed the gift and surprise of living with a touch of the seventies with my kids, many defining Generation X moments were not captured in Panama, such as sitting in my fourth-grade classroom in dismay as I watched the Space Shuttle blow up, receiving the news of President Reagan being shot, getting a microwave and home computer, playing Atari and watching MTV.

How do these experiences compare with Generation Y growing up with massive school shootings, the aftermath of 911, the birth of Facebook and the iPhone and all the fear and confusion, yet global access that these events provide?

No one really knows the answer to that, but we do know that each generation of parents struggle in some areas and thrive in others. For Generation X, parents seem to struggle the most with how to control access to media. This is especially challenging as schools start to integrate technology into the classrooms.

Many of us spend excessive time unsuccessfully trying to control our children’s media consumption while many other parents give up and look the other way, buried in our own media addiction. Some of us search furiously for apps that restrict our children’s media access. I have yet to find something that covers all the bases while allowing a child to complete their homework assignments and be able to maintain their social connections.

Regardless of your view on media, all parents wish for their children to grow into happy, functional, and flourishing adults, which I believe is what parents of every generation have always wanted for their children.

Generation X parents fall down most when it comes to using scheduled playdates.These playdates with the added endless after-school activities put our kids in controlled environments with so many time constraints, leaving them with too little down time and the inability to develop trust in themselves and learn how to solve unexpected problems.

Lenore Skenazy, author of Free Range Kids, reports that violent crime is down from the 1970’s, yet we allow excessive media to fuel our paranoia as we surrender to the litigious nature of our society.

On the flip side, Generation X parents thrive when we invest in our children’s feelings, asking our kids what they feel and teaching them to express themselves.

Although Generation Y is spoiled with instant photos and the expectation of constant entertainment, such as jumpy houses at virtually every event, they are growing up with a sensitivity to the underdog, witnessing many triumphs for them, such as the legalization of gay marriage and the rise of a global community.

To conclude, I want to apologize to the Millenials and Generation Y for whatever part I played in the mess of environmental and political disasters created and reinforced by the Baby Boomer and Generation Xers. I trust that your generation’s team playing skills and underdog advocacy will help resolve these tremendous challenges.

As I wrote this article, I fantasized about a Generations theme park where we immerse ourselves in the paraphernalia of our own generation and fully explore other generations.

Comment below about how you parent differently than your parent’s generation and what you would like to see in such a theme park.

week 1 part 1 millennial parenting 

week 1 part 2 millennial parenting

JENNIFER GRIFFIN is the founder of the Spiritual Gift Institute and has over twenty years experience guiding children and adults on their relationship journeys. After ten years in the throes of hyperemesis gravidarum, she is slowly emerging and can’t stop writing about her experiences bringing her four magical children to Earth. When she is not writing, she enjoys urban farming, life schooling her four children, DIY healing challenges, forest bathing and reading young adult fiction and old National Geographic magazines. She is the author of Understanding Your Child As A Spiritual Gift and an upcoming memoir and resource guide, Understanding Morning Sickness As A Gift. Visit her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JenniferGriffinBooks or connect on Twitter: http://twitter.com/spiritualgiftxo

 

Parenting Through The Generation Millennial Part 2

Life motherhood

Parenting Through The Generation Millennial Part 2

I have always been intrigued by each generation, the strengths, differences, and similarities are so vast. I have a special interest in generational parenting, it amazes me to see the changes in parenting but also to take notice of the things that have not changed over time.

I thought and thought about how I would approach this subject and realized I couldn’t do it alone so I reached out to some blogging friends of mine and together we have created a month long Generational Parenting Series. Each Tuesday this month you will hear from a mother telling us her perspective on parenting. Look for a wrap up of my point of view on the last week.  I look forward to sharing this journey of motherhood with each of you.

Today I bring you part 2 of our Millenial Parenting.

MILLENIAL PARENTING AS SEEN BY Vanessa Pak

Millennials often get a bad rap. People say we’re lazy, and have a sense of entitlement, and can’t carry real face-to-face conversations because we’re too busy on our iPhones. Millennial Moms get it, too. People think we don’t spend enough time with our kids, or on the flip side, “hover” over our kids, and spend too much time painting a perfect picture for social media. Despite all of these criticisms, I’m proud to be a Millennial, especially a Millennial Mom, and feel that my peers and I prove those stereotypes wrong. Hopefully, my answers to the following questions will help you understand us a little better…

  • What do you feel is the biggest difference in the way you parent vs how your parents did?

Us Millennial Moms have the world at our fingertips, which is completely different from our parents. The technology we have today allows us to make connections with others and informed choices about what is best for our children and prevents us from feeling as isolated as our moms and grandmothers felt. If we’re unsure if our 9-month-old can eat seafood, we take 30 seconds to Google it. If we want to know if our son’s poop is normal, we take 30 seconds to Google it. There’s also endless Mom groups on Facebook that allow us to connect with moms across the country and globe, bringing encouragement to each other and making us a force to be reckoned with!

  • What do you feel is/was the biggest obstacle in raising children in your generation?

We have the world at our fingertips. Along with all of the positives of technology, come some negatives that make being a Millennial Mom a little challenging, the biggest being social media. While social media is an amazing way to keep in touch with friends and family, it is easy to get caught up in playing the “comparing game.” You know how it is. We all follow those moms on Facebook and Instagram that seem to have perfect lives – an amazing wardrobe, a hot spouse, a spotless home, a great bod, and manage to cook drool-worthy dinners each night. When we look around at our own lives, we think we pale in comparison, when really, the “perfect” moms are only showing us the highlight reel they want us to see. It’s so easy to get caught up in that and forget that we’re all human and everyone’s kids cry and fight and we’re all probably wearing the sweatpants we should have washed yesterday.

  • What do you believe is your generation’s downfall when it comes to parenting?

These damn phones!!!!!!!!!! I can’t tell you how many times each day I tell my husband to put down his phone and play with our kids. This might not be solely a Millennial thing, but I’ve seen so many parents straight-up ignore their kids because they’re on their phones. It makes me so sad. Whatever business or game or “checking in” you’re doing can wait; your kids will only want to play outside with you or tell you every single detail about their day for so long.

  • What do you think your generation does better than any other when it comes to parenting?

Millennial Moms (and dads) are more open and accepting and embrace different lifestyles and cultures than any other generation. We’re teaching our children that it’s okay if Sally has two moms or two dads, or if Sally is from India or Kenya. We’re teaching our children to love and embrace themselves and that it’s okay to be different, as long as they’re being kind to others and true to themselves. I believe there hasn’t been a generation before ours that has been so welcoming of all walks of life.

No matter what generation you identify with, there’s no doubt that parenting is tough, and there’s no one generation that knows it all. Perhaps all us Millennial Moms can do is take the parenting strengths from our grandparents and parents and do the best we can to not drown in the buckets of information we receive on a daily basis, and hopefully, we’ll raise kids who will do it better than we did.

About Vanessa

Hi, I’m Vanessa! Wife, twin mama, blogger, and lover of coffee, wine, and sarcasm. I like to think that I have a good sense of style, even though I rarely wear anything besides sweats and leggings. Check out thefourpak.com to see my pack in action!

Check out Week 1 Part 1 of Our Generational Mothering Series- Millennial Mom Part 1 

Week 2 Gen x mom 

Parenting Through the Generations-Millennial

Life motherhood

Parenting Through the Generations-Millennial

I have always been intrigued by each generation, the strengths, differences, and similarities are so vast. I have a special interest in generational parenting, it amazes me to see the changes in parenting but also to take notice of the things that have not changed over time.

I thought and thought about how I would approach this subject and realized I couldn’t do it alone so I reached out to some blogging friends of mine and together we have created a month long Generational Parenting Series. Each Tuesday this month you will hear from a mother telling us her perspective on parenting. Look for a wrap up of my point of view on the last week.  I look forward to sharing this journey of motherhood with each of you.

 

Millenial Parenting as seen by Meghna Dixit

 

  • What do you feel is the biggest difference in the way you parent vs how
    your parents did?

The biggest difference between how I parent v/s how my parents did, are the available resources. To give you an example, my parents did not have, fancy car seat, comfy strollers, beautiful crib, or even all soaking diapers.

We are a very gifted generation. We are more educated, wealthier and more equipped with tools and resources than our previous generation, that makes our parenting way easier than what our parents did.

The second difference is the community feeling. It is said, it takes a village to raise a kid, and since I was raised in India in the 80s, so my parents raised me with lots of love in a joint family setup. My grandparents were always there to guide them, support them when needed. There was no concept of arranging playdates, we played freely in the neighborhood with the kids.

The third difference is diet. We ate fresh home cooked meals and there was no concept of pre-mixed, pre-packaged baby food or frozen dinner. Eating fruits picked fresh from the tree, sweet dish cooked in the granny’s kitchen and a balanced diet was a given. Part of Indian food wisdom, imparted and inherited. There was no multi vitamin, or formula milk or zillion cereals to be consumed. Food was natural and full of natural sugar, fiber and natural goodness.

  • What do you feel is/was the biggest obstacle in raising children in your
    generation?

I won’t term it as obstacle but I would call it a challenge. The biggest challenge of our time is to teach value of Nature, Free-Play and sharing to our kids. Let’s face it, we are raising a higher IQ, entitled generation, who suffers from lack of attention, patience and want instant results. Lagging YouTube video can introduce a meltdown in the kids of today. They have the best of clothes, from the best of brands. They have apps spoon-feeding them knowledge that took us hours of surfing in public libraries.

In a scenario, like this, it is important to show them the basics. To teach them to be grateful, to be responsible, to be compassionate and kind and to play. Like, real outside play- not a supervised trip to the park but unabashed running and rolling on the grass. The simple joys of childhood. Biggest challenge is to retain the innocence of a child in this fast moving, information overload of a world we are living in today.

  • What do you believe is your generation’s
    downfall when it comes to parenting?

According to me, some of the biggest downfalls are:

  • Giving them presents instead of presence. Even when you are physically present with the kid, are you with him or are you on your phone?
  • Helicopter parenting – When we don’t let them be, we are not helping them develop their own personality.
  • Tech overload- Too much screen time, early introduction to video gaming, unsupervised social media exchange, they can really play with their developing brain and leave them scarred or even hurt in the long run

What do you think your generation does better than any other when it
comes to parenting?

I don’t think any generation is perfect when it comes to parenting. Because, parenting is not an exact science, it’s unique to the individuals, their children, their culture and background per say. Some of the things, we millennial parents are doing better than our predecessors are,

  • We have amazing knowledge base & support. We have tons of published material, blogs, counsellors and mentors to help us right from pregnancy to when the child gets to a college. So, it really makes it easier to identify a problem and provide a solution every time we get in a crossroad in our parenting. And then there is God Google to help, guide, even at the middle of night.
  • We are gentle parents. We don’t believe in spanking or extreme disciplinary tactics that were used by the parents before. Attachment parenting, Respectful parenting, Conscious parenting philosophy is new age. It helps us respect our kids more. It gives them more power and more acceptance. They don’t have to obey us , because we say so, they follow us because of their faith in us that we develop through our actions. It’s beautiful process and concept.
  • We are their best friends, siblings, and parents -all in one.  The relationship we share with our kids is not a one-way street. They are not born to follow our instructions and our dreams. We guide them, mentor them and have more fun while raising them. We go to holidays with them, weekends are longer now and we spend it with them, we are more open to having healthy conversation with them about sex, drugs, career and orientation without judging them or threatening them. This according to me is our plus point.

About : Meghna

I am a first-time Mom of a beautiful and feisty girl, based in Dubai, UAE. I have worked as the senior management executive in Human Resources for various reputed multinational firms in India & Oman till the late term of my pregnancy. I then took a break to bring my child to the world and raise her as a stay at home Mom.

My daughter is two years old and now and I am a work-at-home mom, excited cheerleader, un-domestic goddess, overly attached parent and a Sassy Lifestyle Blogger. I love to share my views, ideas, anecdotes and observations on motherhood & parenting, self-help & positive body image, makeup & grooming, relationship & marriage, women & child issues in a simplistic, relatable way.

My writing is very autobiographical, with deep, relatable, honest messages told with a slice of humor. My aim is to reach a wider audience through my craft. I sincerely believe that as women and mothers, we need each other to grow ourselves and to raise good humans for the next generation and this is me, doing my bit.

Link to Meghna’s blog & social media pages: 

Facebook

Instagram

 Twitter 

LOVE, LIFE & THE LITTLE ONE

Take The Trip

Life marriage

Take The Trip

When was the last time you got away? It doesn’t have to be for a week or even the entire weekend. When was the last time you spent 24 hours away from the daily grind with just you and your spouse? Some of you may not even remember and I am here to tell you to take the trip.

With three soon to be four children, my husband and I don’t get a lot of uninterrupted time together. Our conversations involve multiple interruptions, delayed conversations and too many high stressed conversations trying to out talk the little people who are constantly begging for our attention.

Sometimes do you just want to run away? Yes? Well, do it. Pack your bags and head out for the weekend. It is time you invest some time into yourself, your spouse and your relationship. The excuses are piled up on reasons not to go but so are the reasons to take the trip.

Like I said this doesn’t have to be a long trip. My hubby and I sometimes can only swing 1 night away at our favorite bed and breakfast. That 24 hours absolutely helps us reset for our daily lives when we return home.

Plan

If a spontaneous trip is not possible, sit down and plan the dates that will work for you both. Find your babysitter, book your room and start the countdown. It always helps to have something special to look forward to. It doesn’t have to be a week-long adventure, one night away can leave you feeling refreshed just as much as a week long getaway.

Budget

When you start the search for your trip figure out what you can afford. The last thing you want to do is plan a relaxing getaway and end up fighting over finances when you get there. Evaluate the biggest bang for your buck and start saving. Remember to factor in your lodging, travel, food and any other expenses you might have while you are away.

Clear your head

Sometimes it is just so nice to get away and get a new perspective. Step away from the daily grind of life, full schedules, and demands of life for a short time. This is a great opportunity to gather new inspiration in a new setting.

Connect

Take this time to connect with your spouse. Quality time is so important and I feel in our daily lives we tend to push it aside. I love to just be with Keith, no matter what we are doing I find peace in his presence. We are more relaxed in our conversations knowing we don’t have to rush through a sentence before hearing “Hey, watch this” for the hundredth time.

relax

Don’t stress about what is happening at home. Try not to request constant updates from the sitter, you left the children in capable hands. This is a time to unwind and relax so try your best to soak in the uninterrupted quiet time. Nothing is better than a nice long bath reading a book without someone knocking on the door wanting to know where the animal crackers are.

So now that is decided, where will you be heading? The beach, a local Bed and Breakfast, hotel and night on the town? Let me know!

 

 

 

how you are being a bad mother

Family Life motherhood

how you are being a bad mother

Have you ever stopped to think about how you parent your children? I am sure you have thought about all the ways you are thriving at motherhood and also the areas where you are failing. I am so sorry to tell you this but you are a bad mother! Woah, that is pretty harsh isn’t it? I would be sorry but it is the absolute truth and your children will let you know at the drop of a hat just how awful you really are.

WAYS YOU ARE BEING A BAD MOTHER

To make it easier for you and to help you avoid all the ways you are parenting wrong I will lay a few things out for you.

NOT BEING A MIND READER

  • Giving your child the wrong color or character cup. Not sure how you didn’t know that when he said he wanted “Mickey Mouse” he really meant “Paw Patrol” even if it wasn’t verbally spoken. It really is a shame your mind reading skills are not sharper.
  • Give them pants without pockets. Even though they didn’t request these pockets you should have known pants without them are unacceptable. Where will they put their important items like their paper clips, rocks, pieces of precious lint, toys that are too large to fit into their tiny pockets. If we don’t provide them with this small necessity for the day can we even say we are doing anything right?
  • Nourish them. Give them endless food choices only to find out they started hating string cheese 5 minutes ago and the fact you haven’t cleared it from the fridge by now is a complete insult.
  • You bring them the wrong shoes. You know, the ones they don’t think match their outfit? So they go pick out a better pair that isn’t even a pair. It is two right shoes and one is a boot and one is sandle.

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DEMANDING GOOD HYGIENE

  • Ask them to bathe. This one will sure set them off. They have become attached to the layers of dirt, yogurt, milk, and sauce that they smeared all over themselves throughout the day. Washing them would be like taking away their precious memories from their adventures.
  • Want to really claim the bad mother title? Ask them to get out of the bath they didn’t even want to take in the first place. Just ruin a perfectly good splash time, wade through the 3 inches of standing water that is now on the floor and demand they stop spitting water at you and get out!
  • Change a dirty poop diaper. Children just don’t understand why we don’t love them for who they are in all their stinky glory. Why can’t we just learn to love them without trying to change them? (Ha, see what I did there?)

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STOP THEM FROM RUINING YOUR HOUSE

  • You can rack up endless points on the bad mother scale by simply saying no. Sit back and watch the meltdown of a lifetime happen when you tell them “No, they can not create a small pond out of a gallon of milk in the floor.”
  • Prevent them from writing on walls, pooping in the closet, and smearing toothpaste all over the bathroom. Informing them this is not the murals you have always dreamed of is a sure way to induce tears.
  • Let them know that cutting their clothes with scissors, climbing a dresser, and hitting each other in the face with sticks is harmful. Caring about their personal safety and well-being is a sure way to uphold bad mothering.

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It is time we as mothers get it together. These simple misunderstandings are tearing our children apart. You may have thought you were a good mother, now you know that if in fact, you are doing any or all of these things in your daily routine that you are wrong. Bad mothering is an epidemic and we must stop to raise happy children.

What are some ways that make you a “bad mother”?

The things I have to say

Family Life motherhood

The things I have to say

As a mom you have to say some pretty fun and interesting things. I wanted to compile a list of a few things I have had to say over the last few weeks. (I am sure I am missing a ton of good ones)

    • “Maxx, you can not pee at the park.” I say in a park full of people who can see my child urinating just outside the play area
    • “Maxx, STOP peeing in the flower garden!” a quick little lesson about why we can’t pee in public followed.

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        • “Stop trying to hit your brother with the Orr!” As Maxx is ducking to miss the inevitable beating.
        • “Mommy can burp on command too” I announced in the middle of a burping contest.
        • “Stop putting erasers in my hair?” This was a weird game, I still don’t understand.
        • “Is that chocolate or poop” Mom classic for sure.
        • “If I have to tell you one more time.” ………….continue to repeat myself 17 more times.

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    • “Where are your shoes? Seriously where are your shoes?” I ask 8 times a day.
    • “You don’t want to go to the cold store? Ok, I am not sure what you mean but we won’t go to the cold store” Pull into Aldi’s parking lot and instant tears for arriving at the cold store.

{my explanation and reasoning of why this is not the “cold store” was clearly not getting through to him”

    • “Stop eating paper. Seriously stop” Pretty sure he ate an entire piece.
    • “Whyyyyyyy did you do that?” Looking at 10000 tiny pieces of smashed crackers

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    • “Get your toe out of your mouth” I have to say this one more than I should.
    • “Who ate this entire stick of chapstick?” I ask knowing it was the same one who ate the paper.
    • “Why would you take a bite of my deodorant?” Betchya can’t guess which kid did this!
    • “I love you so much! Do you know how much Mommy loves you?” I say more times a day than I can count. I am forever loving my set of crazies.

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It is fun, I love looking back after the fact and laughing at the things we say. My kids sure keep me on my toes. What are some funny things you have had to say lately?