I am not sure why this is even a topic. Why as a society do we put so much stock into our outward appearance? Especially in children. It is crazy to look at a 2-year-old and immediately question what he is wearing or wonder why a 7-year-old was allowed to leave the house in 4 different animal prints.
My 7-year-old daughter likes to dress herself and it doesn’t always match. Guess what, I do not care. She likes to mix patterns, prints, and textures. She likes what she is wearing, you do not have to.
I want my children to know what they wear is not their value, that is not what society is teaching them. The message sent is you have to look a certain way or we won’t like you and you won’t be good enough. Priorities are all mixed up.
Their clothes, their faces, and their hair is clean but their shoes may not match.
Their personalities are shining, their laughter is contagious but they are wearing 3 different shades of blue.
Their faces are bright, their smile is ear to ear but they are wearing a superhero Halloween costume in the supermarket in June.
People sometimes don’t make it past their initial judgment to notice them, not what they are wearing but them as a person.
I get it, we all care how we look. Like a lot. I myself have a lot of issues with just leaving the house without makeup! I like to look nice and put together and you better believe if I am not, I feel inferior to all those around me. I do not want my children to be like me, I want them to be confident in whatever they are wearing. I want their self-worth to come from them and not their appearance.
I know some of you out there are like “woah, woah first impressions matter” and yes , you are right they absolutely do. When we are putting pressure on two year olds about their appearance it is no wonder why we can’t handle natural wrinkle lines as we age. Our first impression is never enough when it comes to appearance we are always being compared to everyone else.
When my child is grown and heading off to his first job interview I am not concerned if he is going to wear one crock and one rain boot. I am concerned if he will feel confident enough to walk into the room “owning” whatever suit he was able to afford. I don’t want him to base his performance on the clothes he was wearing because honestly, it will never be enough for this world we live in.
I am not saying to teach your kids to dress like slobs. They each have matching shoes, clothes outfits but my #1 priority is not to make them fit in it with their appearance, my #1 priority is my children’s self-confidence. Telling them constantly their choices are wrong is not getting me closer to my goal.
If I tell my daughter every single time she dresses herself that her outfit doesn’t match or the scarf she put in her hair really doesn’t go with her shoes what is that teaching her? I have seen her vibrant excited smile turn around after she picked her favorite outfit and I told her it didn’t match. To whose standards didn’t it match? Clearly mine because she loved it and I took that away from her.
I can’t change the way others feel about my children but I can help my children know their worth so they don’t feel inferior if they do not meet up with society’s standards.
I obviously know not everyone will agree with me on this but next time you see me and the kids out and we don’t look up to par, just know we are ok with it.